Overcoming Obstacles

What Romance Taught Me about Achieving My Dreams

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Many of us avoid putting our hearts and souls into following our dreams because we’re scared of disappointment. We’re afraid our hopes will be dashed or we’ll let ourselves down. Perhaps we’re worried about what other people will think.

joshelisehands2As I’ve re-entered the dating world, I’ve learned something important about life that applies to following your dreams.

I’m trying to be different than I used to be in a romantic relationship. I’m focusing on showing up fully as myself, opening my heart, being willing to be vulnerable and fully honest.  I’m trying to express how I feel, even when that might risk the relationship ending.

There is a risk involved when you do this. Your heart can get broken.

Yet, I realize now that much of the way I showed up in my marriage was about protecting my heart and expecting so little that I couldn’t be disappointed. I’m determined not to do that again. Did this half-hearted, self-protecting stance lead to the very thing I was trying to avoid? Perhaps. It certainly didn’t help.

I think this fear of being hurt in relationships is akin to the fear of disappointment many of us experience in goal-setting. We’re afraid of setting our hearts on something, only to suffer disappointment, self-judgment or ridicule. Defeat can be heart-breaking. So we go about our goal-setting in a half-committed way because we want to protect our hearts.

One of the realizations that came to me as I entered a new relationship was that I could get hurt. I was operating a bit out of fear, holding back because my heart could get broken.

Then, one day I came to this realization that I’d passed the point of no return. If this relationship didn’t work out, I was going to be hurt – no doubt about it. Just admitting that to myself, relieved something that allowed me to take those barriers off my heart and risk showing up fully as myself. Yes, I could get hurt, but I was going to get hurt anyway if it didn’t work out. And a case could be made that the only hope the relationship has is for me to show up fully.

If you go through your whole life and you know you could have created the life you wanted, but you didn’t try, or only half-tried, you’re going to be hurt. Whether you abdicate your ability to create or whether you give it your all and it doesn’t pan out, you’re going to get hurt. Yet, odds are, if you give it your all, you will get something. I believe God grants us according to our desires. And if we throw our hearts and souls behind our desires and do what we can, we will get something good in the end.

But if you don’t show up fully because you’re afraid of failure or being hurt, you’re destined to fail and you’re destined for disappointment.

So give it your all! Throw yourself 100% into your dreams. It’s the only way you can even hope to achieve them. And in the end you will know that you gave it your best shot, that you gave it your all. That alone, builds self-worth and shapes you into a person of character.

Join me for my next “How to Create Your Own Amazing Life Workshop

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Breaking the Spirits of the Best and Brightest

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Six-year-old Latisha studied problem number two on her math test. She closed her eyes, scratched her head and then re-read the problem. Her face grew distraught, and Mrs. Jones could see tears forming in the child’s eyes.

“Don’t worry about that one, Latisha, just bubble it and move on,” the teacher encouraged.

girl sucking her thumbBut Latisha wouldn’t continue. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and concentrated harder.

“We haven’t learned this yet, sweetie, move on to number three. I know you can get number three,” Mrs. Jones encouraged.

The teacher knew the question was impossible for Latisha, and it wasn’t because the class hadn’t learned it yet. 

Developmentally, problem two was impossible for her entire first grade class. Mrs. Jones’ mind went back thirty years to her university days where she first learned Jean Piaget’s theory on cognitive development. Children’s brains develop in stages and her class hadn’t reached the stage where they could answer these questions.

Click to enlarge

Click to enlarge Actual 1st grade question. This was answered incorrectly.

Trying to teach her 6-year-olds how to answer a fourth of the problems on this test would be a cognitive impossibility. It would be like reasoning with a newborn that a ball you showed her still exists now that you’ve put it behind your back. For the newborn, it no longer exists. Her brain hasn’t wrapped around the concept of object permanence.

Mrs. Jones walked around the room, noticing some children haphazardly coloring in bubbles, not worrying about which answers they got right or wrong. But her brightest students were reduced to thumb-sucking and emotional upset, stuck on questions that their little minds wouldn’t be able to answer for several more years.

The teacher’s heart ached for her children. She wanted to help explain the cryptic questions, but there was an observer in the room, insuring she could do no such thing. The Common Core tests had to be administered without assistance.

Mrs. Jones encouraged Latisha one more time to continue to the next question and wondered how much longer she would remain a teacher in the school system. Between the endless regulations and documentation, militant demands by school authorities and now Common Core testing that was breaking the spirit of her students, she didn’t know if she could take it much longer.

Many have addressed concerns over Common Core, but as I sat over my Thanksgiving dinner listening to this school teacher relate her first-hand account, I nearly broke down in tears. Why?

teacherchildBecause I felt sorry for little Latisha and the other children having an upsetting moment? Yes.

Because I felt for the teacher being forced to work under conditions that broke her spirit? Yes.

Because as a child I would have been like little Latisha, and I know what it would have done to me? Yes!

More importantly, I know the damage experiences like this inflict on people long-term. I spend my days helping the best and brightest break through fears, overwhelm, self-doubts and old programming from their past – most of it caused by small traumatic moments in childhood — like little Latisha and her thumb-sucking classmates just experienced.

In moments like this, the child mind grasps to make sense of reality. She’s trying to make sense of the world, how it works and who she is in it. Most likely, Latisha and her friends are forming opinions that act like core beliefs, driving their subconscious minds for decades unless they find some way to remove or counteract them.

Inside Latisha’s mind, she’s probably thinking and feeling with great emotion:

-          I’m dumb

-          Math is hard

-          I can’t learn

-          Tests are impossible

-          I’m a failure

-          There’s no use in trying

One-time traumatic events coupled with strong emotion can seed beliefs like this into a child’s mind until they become the person’s mode of operations. Her entire life filters through those beliefs and impacts her choices and outcomes.

With Common Core, the rising generation will be repeatedly exposed to this kind of abuse throughout their school years. Whether created in ignorance of basic child development or as a malicious attack on teachers and students, the results of Common Core on children are the same – the best and brightest are being demoralized and programmed for failure at a core level.

It’s time we started speaking out. If you have a story on Common Core, either post it below in the comments or contact me personally at marnie@marniepehrson.com and I’ll share your story with the world.

This is a great explanation on Common Core and childhood brain development by psychologist, Dr. Megan Koschnick

 

Note: The story I related is true, the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

You’ve Made Your Bed, Do You Have to Lie In It?

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The old saying goes, “You’ve made your bed, now you have to lie in it.” Is that really true? When we make certain choices, do we just have to suffer the consequences? Perhaps we do for a while, but do we have to keep on suffering from them or can we create a new life?

Here are my thoughts on the subject…

Join me for the Create Your Own Amazing Life Workshop coming up soon.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Rule #2 for Creating Your Own Amazing Life

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The second rule for creating your own amazing life is to Dream BIG! Small plans have no magic to stir your soul. They have no ability to engage your enthusiasm or keep you moving forward. In this video I share my story of the power of a big dream and how you can harness it to create the life of your dreams.

Your Big WHY can’t be someone else’s why… it has to be your own. You have to be true to you and what you really want out of life. It can’t be a “should” that’s placed upon you by other people, society, etc.

A lot of times we set monetary goals, for example, because we think we’re “supposed to.” There’s so much pressure from society to excel financially… that’s the standard measure of success, but some of us aren’t even wired to care about that. We’re driven by something completely different. If you set a money “why” when you’re not even driven by money, it will have no magic to stir your soul and keep you moving forward. Find your own WHY. You can’t borrow someone else’s.

So what’s your big why? Do you know it?

Join me for the “How to Create Your Own Amazing Life” Workshop.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Stuck in a Rut? Burnt Out on Life?

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Are you like I was two years ago? Stuck in a rut? Burnt out on your life or your business? Restless about the way things are, but not sure how to make them better?  The turning point came for me when I dared to dream of the ideal life. I had no idea how it would be possible, but I knew two important things:

1)      If it was to be, it was up to me – and nobody else.

2)      Things were never going to change until I let go of being stuck in “what was” and had the courage to get clear on “what could be.”

igniteyourlifeFrom there, I crafted a plan. I didn’t have the whole picture. I didn’t know all the steps. All I knew was that in order to have the passionate, energetic life and relationships I envisioned, I needed to get healthy and drop 30-40 pounds. So my plan was to start taking vitamins and working out consistently.

Every time I went to the gym, I’d look at the people my age or even the 70-year-olds who were in great shape and think – “I can do that. I’m going to be like that.”  I let the people around me inspire me.

Do you have role models in your life? People who have achieved what you want to achieve? If not, start finding them and surrounding yourself with them. Let them remind you of your goal … if they can do it, so can you!

If you’re ready to step into the life of your dreams, I hope you’ll join me for my upcoming workshop, “Create Your Own Amazing Life.”

I hope you’ll join me!

 

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Are You Focusing on What Is? Or What Can Be?

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I love this quote from Julie Ann Turner’s book, “Genesis of Genius:”

I believe each of us reaches a turning point in life — a crossroad of choice when the day comes, as the writer Anais Nin so beautifully describes it, ‘when the risk to remain tight in the bud is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom.’

That moment we realize that what has come before, no matter how comfortable it may be, can no longer serve our highest self, and that, in order to expand into our highest potential we must consciously choose the path of What Can Be … The quest of discovery begins.”

And as my friend Dr. Roger Moczygemba of myQuickdoc.com noted,

The discomfort we feel before we feel the need to break out of the bud will never happen if we are not continuously striving to improve.”

If we’re on a path of self-improvement, which most entrepreneurs are, we will eventually come to that point when we realize we’ve stayed inside the bud for too long. And that shift from “What Is” to “What Can Be” is the key, as Julie Ann Turner talks about in her book.

Before and After MarnieFor me, that shift from feeling like I was stuck with “What Is” to focusing on “What Can Be” happened on a ride home from a family vacation to the beach two years ago. For nearly a decade I was unhappy in my marriage, but I thought I had to settle for what was. Not until I finally realized and owned the fact that I was the creator of my own life and could choose a different relationship dynamic, did I finally get a clear picture of what I DID want. You see, it’s easy to moan and groan about what’s not working, it’s an entirely different thing to get clear on what you want INSTEAD!

And that’s what I did — I got incredibly clear on the relationship I DID want. I was fully open to my existing marriage being this. I thought perhaps that if I traveled the path of self-improvement, became the person I envisioned, that my marriage would shift along with it. But that was not to be. Instead, there came a time when it was clearly evident that for the good of everyone I had to let it go.

During that pivotal drive back from the beach, I shifted my mental gaze from “What Is” to “What Can Be.” As a result, I began creating the life of my dreams. I’m happier, healthier, 40 pounds lighter, and loving the relationships I’m creating. To hear more of my transformational story (which I documented thoroughly as I went) and to find out how you can create your own ideal life too, please join me for my “How to Create Your Own Amazing Life WorkshopDetails here.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Does God Really Want You To Be Happy?

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Are you tired of your life? Bored? Burn-out? In a rut? But when you think about what it would take to really feel the fire again, you decide it’s too impossible. Or maybe you even think it’s wrong to want more.

This was me two and a half years ago. While I was incredibly successful in my business, my personal life was a mess. I felt stuck and trapped. I didn’t think there was any way out of the relationship I was in. In fact, I was quite certain God would be mad at me for even thinking that I could change the situation.

Yet, one pivotal trip home from Seacrest Beach, Florida, I did something that set in motion a chain of actions and events that revolutionized my world. God began revealing to me that He indeed WANTED me to be happy! That He was excited for me to find joy in my life and have the type of relationship I envisioned.

Yet, He couldn’t free me from my existing trap until I got SUPER CLEAR and DECIDED what I wanted instead. I couldn’t just moan or suffer in silence. I had to get clear on what I wanted instead. And once I did… EVERYTHING started changing.

Here’s my story…

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Finding Peace and Hope Amidst Adversity

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One of my favorite things about live events is meeting new people. I don’t know whether I send out a Light Bearer beacon or what, but I’ve noticed that the most beautiful, talented, good-hearted and genuine individuals come to me. I know there is an immense amount of good in the world (despite evidence to the contrary), because good people are constantly brought to me and I am blessed so much by them.

Sherie Smith

Sherie Smith

One of these individuals was in a class I taught at the last NAMS in Atlanta in August 2013. Sherie Smith came up to me afterward wondering if we might chat sometime. I arranged to meet her the next day and we sat down to discuss her challenges.

The more we talked, the more I saw the light in her eyes and the more I knew I had, yet again, been brought one of God’s choice Light Bearers — those who radiate light, love and liberty in a world that needs them so desperately.

The audio below is Sheri’s story of how she came to find peace, hope and joy amidst immense challenges.

Download Listen to Sherie’s story of hope   Click here to find out how to work with Marnie.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Is Overwhelm Keeping You Stuck?

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If you are a Light bearer, you probably deal with one common challenge … overwhelm. Whether you’re a seasoned entrepreneur or a brand new business person, you can feel overwhelmed about getting your message out in a bigger way.

Email me for a free 15-minute consult at marnie@marniepehrson.com

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

The Difference a Word Makes

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I was at the gym this morning, doing my stretches and noticed an elderly gentleman I see frequently. I smiled and said good morning. He returned the greeting and then asked, “Are you an RN?”

“No,” I replied.

“I thought you were an RN,” the white-haired man had a bit of a perplexed look on his face.

“Why? do you need one?” I said with half a chuckle.

“No, I thought I saw you at the morgue.”

“The morgue?” I repeated with raised eyebrows. “Are you a doctor?”

“No, I’m a patient.”

My internal wheels were spinning. Do they have patients at the morgue? Or am I playing out a scene from Sixth Sense?… I see dead people!

He went on to talk about why he thought I was the RN he’d seen.

Finally, I just had to ask, “What type of treatment are you receiving?”

“I had bypass surgery.”

“And you go to the morgue for treatment?” You can imagine my confusion.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“The morgue?” I repeated.

Finally, he seemed to understand my bewilderment, “No, at Memorial”

We laughed… big difference between “morgue” and Memorial (as in Memorial Hospital)!

Is your perspective an illusion?

Is your perspective an illusion? Do you see the young woman or the old woman?

I’m not really sure why every time he said Memorial, I heard “the morgue.” Perhaps it was his gravelly voice and slightly slurred speech, or maybe I’m growing as deaf as he is.

Either way, this story illustrates the power of a single word and the importance of making sure we are conveying what we think we’re conveying to others. Sometimes people hear what they expect to hear. Every time I said the word “morgue,” he expected to hear “Memorial” so that is what he heard. And don’t even ask me why I expected to hear morgue! LOL

Our expectations often determine our realities. What are you expecting to see, hear and experience from life? Is it possible that our perceptions create much of our realities? What if you looked at things from a different angle? You might observe something entirely different, a deeper truth that you never knew was there.

Just something to think about…

Use the power of story to create a WOW with your next book. Save $50 off my Create a WOW Book Mentoring and Accountability System and get 3 months of phone support. Use SUMMERBOOKS for the coupon code at http://www.CreateAWOW.com

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.





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