LoseWhatYoureNot

Thrive Again: Who You Are is Not What You Do

Who You Are Is Not What You Do

My friend Martina Muir says, “Who You Are Is Not What You’ve Done.” I’ve put a little twist on it… “Who you are is not what you do” either.

When you lose the ability to do what you’ve always done, it can create such a sense of loss that it strikes at the core of who you are as a person. You know what I mean — those things we do that define us:

  • the pianist who has lost a hand,
  • the football player who’s had one too many concussions, or
  • the elderly bus driver who’s judgment is impaired and can’t drive anymore.
  • the mom whose children are all grown and have moved away from home.
  • the entrepreneur who is suffering a health challenge that affects her ability to work.

When one talent becomes our identity and that talent is damaged or lost, it can make you feel worthless and as if you don’t hold any value anymore.

In this segment I talk about dealing with this kind of loss and how to reframe the situation to discover who you really are. If you’d like to work this through with someone and process the loss, click here.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

bethelove2

Lose Yourself to Find Yourself

There are a lot of things we can lose in this world, but in the end they are just things. The truly frightening thing is to lose yourself. To wake up to the realization that you aren’t the sum total of your experiences and accomplishments. When everything is stripped away – the stuff, the dreams, the skills, and abilities, your health, and all you’re left with is you, you cry out to God, “What else will you take from me? I’m not even me anymore. Who am I? What am I?”

At last you remember: “I am a child of God, a divine sibling of every other person who has walked this planet. Quite simply I am an extension of God — His representative on earth, a walking embodiment of His love. Nothing else is real. Nothing else matters or lasts.”

Why must we wade through the excruciating to remember and absorb the simple?

Maybe it’s because of what my friend Carolyn Calton often says,

“We learn who we’re not before we remember who we really are.”

The question I will be asking myself each day is “How can I more fully be the love today?”

Today, as I’ve pondered this question, I’ve realized who I need to show love for, first and foremost is me. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” How can we truly love anyone else if we don’t fully love ourselves?

I’m realizing I need to acknowledge myself, what I’ve been through, the grace with which I’ve navigated this voyage on choppy seas. While going through the divorce, my friend Rhonda Hess gave me an assignment to speak to my own heart like I’d speak to a friend as I went to sleep each night. Tell my heart what I admire about it, what’s good about it, truly embrace and love my own beautiful, giving and loving heart.

It was revolutionary for me at the time, and I’m pulling that exercise back out and using it again. It’s time… past time. It’s time to be the love with me.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

marnie and chris dancing

Quest for Love: Discovering Greatness

My friend Anastasia Montejano has a question she’s fond of asking me whenever I’ve been through something difficult or come to a place of resolution and breakthrough. That question is, “What have you learned from this?”

She asked me that question yesterday, “What have you learned this year?” What a loaded question! A lot of what I’ve learned I’ve been sharing in my Quest for Love series of blog entries. But my answer to her question yesterday was a little different than she or I anticipated.

“I’ve learned what makes greatness.”

I could hear the surprise in her voice. “Really? Just that?” she chuckled. “And what have you learned?”

First I’ve learned what greatness is not. It’s not glitz and glamor. It’s not in the sensationalism or the show. It’s not about doing things to draw attention to yourself.

Greatness is in the small acts of day-to-day kindness, the genuine caring, and the big heart.

marnie and chris dancingIt’s like Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. Greatness is in showing other people you care in small, ordinary ways. It’s in making people feel they are important by the way you treat them.

I’ve also learned that a great relationship is built on these principles of kindness and compassion. While I certainly enjoy the chemistry and the passion my husband and I share, there is a deeper richness of connection than I’ve experienced before because our relationship is built on mutual trust, respect, admiration and genuine caring.

I do not know where this awareness of true greatness is taking me, but I feel that I am going to be traveling a much different road than I have before. I am at a time of endings and new beginnings, uncertain as to what will remain and what will depart.

chrislookingatmarnieBut one thing is steady and sure, and it all started by joining my life with a man who embodies greatness. I’m sure he doesn’t see himself this way. He probably sees himself as quite an ordinary man.

To me, he is a treasure trove of wisdom, resourcefulness, hard work and compassion. He’s a man with a Christ-like servant’s heart. He has the bravery of a lion and integrity as solid as The Rock of Gibraltar, all mixed together with fun and optimism.

I look forward to the adventure that awaits me with him by my side.

 

“But whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister.”
– Jesus (Matthew 20:26)

 

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Are You Tired of Pushing the Immovable Rock?

A good friend expressed great disappointment that she had spent her life working and striving to do her best, yet she felt as if she had been struck with one disappointment after another. Nothing she did ever took her anywhere solid. Every dream withered on the vine. Why not just give up? Why not stop dreaming, stop believing? It had all been a waste. It hurts too much to hope. Dreaming is painful.

I felt sad for my friend. I’ve been where she’s been. I know those bottomed out points. They may last one to four days, but eventually I snap out of them and come back to who I am — someone who keeps on going, keeps on believing, and never quits. I’m sure my friend will come back around to that as well. That is who she is.

We think that life is about the destination. What if it’s not? What if it’s about the journey and who we become along the way? I’m reminded of a story by an unknown author that explains this well:

There once was a man who was asleep one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared to him.

pushing a rockThe Lord told him He had a work for him to do, and showed him a large rock explaining that he was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, and for many days he toiled from sunup to sundown; his shoulder set squarely against the cold massive surface of the rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling his whole day had been spent in vain.

Seeing that the man showed signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture – placing thoughts in the man’s mind, such as “Why kill yourself over this?, you’re never going to move it!” or “Boy, you’ve been at it a long time and you haven’t even scratched the surface!” etc. giving the man the impression the task was impossible and the man was an unworthy servant because he wasn’t moving the massive stone.

These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man and he started to ease up in his efforts. “Why kill myself?” he thought. “I’ll just put in my time putting forth just the minimum of effort and that will be good enough.” And this he did or at least planned on doing until, one day, he decided to take his troubles to the Lord.

“Lord,” he said, “I have labored hard and long in Your service, putting forth all my strength to do that which You have asked of me. Yet after all this time, I have not even budged that rock even half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

To this the Lord responded compassionately, “My friend, when long ago I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you to push against the rock with all your strength and that you have done. But never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. At least not by yourself. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me, your strength spent, thinking that you have failed, ready to quit. But is this really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled; your back sinewed and brown. Your hands are calloused from constant pressure and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your ability now far surpasses that which you used to have. Yet still, you haven’t succeeded in moving the rock; and you come to Me now with a heavy heart and your strength spent. I, my friend will move the rock. Your calling was to be obedient and push, and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom, and this you have done.”

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

The Whispered Dream

Your dreams whisper to you … heed their call and co-create them with God. This is an extemporaneous piano creation I recorded tonight and set to some of my photography. I decided to also add some affirmations to support you in your dreams. I hope you enjoy it!

If having a joyful life of influence is part of your big vision, I’d love to support you in it

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Make Your Life Simpler: Co-Create with God

I once knew a woman who was very driven to succeed in her network marketing business. She decided to devote the next three years of her life to her success. She worked all hours of the day and night and insisted her team do the same. If her team didn’t attend sales meetings until 3am, she’d refuse to support them anymore. She decided she would put everything but her business pursuits on hold for three years. Then she’d retire. She was goal driven and focused, and she knew she would succeed.

Her husband and her children took a backseat to her goal of success. She was excessively hard on her team and even began cutting corners and violating ethics to ensure she was a top performer (or appeared to be). By the end of the three years, she was divorced, had lost custody of her children, and lost her business due to unethical dealings. In fact, her name was completely blotted out of the company with which she had worked.

In my mind, she became the poster child for what it means to create one’s life without checking in with God. She became the supreme example of trying to create abundance on the competitive plain. She constantly “pushed the rope,” and that rope transformed into a noose.

I believe as children of THE CREATOR, made in His image, we are born creators. We can create our lives on our own, pursuing selfish, self-gratifying and vain ambition. We can do this by stepping on others, forcing our will onto others, or by manipulating and controlling (aka force).

Or we can amble through life without any goals or objectives. As the Cheshire Cat told Alice, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road’ll take you there.” And “there” isn’t always the best location.

Most people choose something between these two extremes.

I am an advocate of having goals and dreams, but I believe for best results, we co-create them with God. We step out of the competitive plain onto the creative plain. We check in with God to make sure the aspirations we set for ourselves are in alignment with our highest purpose and soul fulfillment.

Then we

– set clear intentions,
– ask for assistance,
– take inspired action,
– operate from gratitude, and
– allow the co-creation process to take place.

What do I mean by co-creation? I believe nature is friendly to your plans when you operate from your highest purpose. Angels, Spirit and the intelligent matter of the universe line up on your team to help you achieve your objectives. The right people will be introduced to you at the perfect time. The optimal resources will be made available to you. The appropriate doors will open for you.

But you must be willing to set a clear intention, ask, listen for a confirmation that you’re on path, and take inspired action. Action is critical. As Wallace Wattles wrote in 1910: “By faith the thing you want is brought to you and by action you receive it.” Do all you know to do. Reach toward God’s reaching, but never force, manipulate or control.

If you are honest with yourself, if you have integrity, what you want is what God wants for you. The powers of heaven are on your side.

But remember the powers of heaven can only be activated upon the principles of righteousness. When we undertake to cover our mistakes, to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon other people or upon the elements of the universe, in any degree of unrighteousness, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved. And when it is withdrawn, we are left to ourselves – to push that rope.

Stop back by for my next entry… I’ll be talking about what to do when things don’t fall into place, when doors seem to slam in your face when you feel certain God told you to travel the path you’re traveling.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Amazing Life Tip

When you get super specific about what you want, life will bring it to you. When it arrives, you may decide it isn’t really what you want/need after all. That’s okay, be open to tweaking. Use this opportunity to learn about yourself and better identifying what you truly want at a base-needs level.

crossroadIn my experience what we’re looking for is more the meeting of an emotional need. It’s an experience, rather than a checklist of items or characteristics. Identifying core needs and desired feelings makes it easier to recognize a good thing when it arrives. Many times where God is ultimately leading you looks nothing like your checklist. His answer may arrive in a way you never expected, and it might even be something you would have initially rejected had you only gone by your list and not taken time to discover your true desires and needs.

As my friend Steve Sutton (the trucker) says, “how do you know if you’re on the right road until you take the wrong road?” Sometimes the wrong road is the one that looks good on paper. The right road could be the one that doesn’t meet all the tiny details but meets your core emotional needs and makes you truly happy and fulfilled.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Is Your Body Image Hijacking Your Dream?

Your weight affects every interaction you have with yourself and others. In your business it determines what photos you put on Facebook, whether you feel comfortable making videos or not, being on stage, leading a retreat, or even putting your pictures on your website. Personally it impacts your dreams, traveling, sex, relationships, and basically showing up for life!

The only way to eliminate the excess weight and maintain a healthy, vibrant body is to get down to the root of WHY you’re hanging onto the extra pounds. If I were to give the root issue a name, I’d say it boils down to one main thing for most people. Find out what that is in this FREE Audio, “Create Your Amazing Body – Look and Feel Fantastic.”

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Quit Worrying About How!

So many of us never go for our dreams because we can’t see HOW we’re going to get past the obstacles that loom before us. Or we never set out because we don’t know every step it will take to arrive at our destination.

Don’t let the important desires for your heart be held hostage because you don’t know how they can happen! In this video I talk about how to create your own amazing life by letting go of how it will happen…

Join me for the next How to Create Your Own Amazing Life Workshop starting in January 2014!

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

The One Thing that Matters Most

Lately I’ve been going through some major changes in my business and personal life. In the end, I’ve come away with a deeper, more poignant understanding that what really matters most is our relationship with the Lord — our ability to ask, receive answers and act upon inspiration as it comes.

When we have the ability to seek, hear and act upon the Spirit, we have everything we need. Markets may change, economies may falter, marriages may crumble, businesses may suffer setbacks, but if we have this lifeline to God and to His infinite wisdom, we have everything we need.

This is one reason why I’m wholeheartedly focusing all my “eggs into one basket” — helping faith-based entrepreneurs ignite their light, life, love and faith in a lifestyle business. Yesterday I re-launched my IgnitePoint.com site around this focus, and I’d like to invite you to take a look at it. If you like what you see, please subscribe to our daily updates there. I’ll be posting business and inspirational tips (called IgnitePoints) on the site 5 days a week and introducing you to some wonderful people who will inspire, teach, and help you succeed.

Each weekday the home page changes and reveals a new piece of inspiration or instruction. If you provide your name and email on the site, you’ll be able to receive these “IgnitePoints” in your email — http://www.IgnitePoint.com.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.