Most of us don’t realize it, but much of our lives are created by a series of beliefs we formed in our younger years. Something happens in our lives, and we create a rule about how the world works. That rule becomes a governing belief affecting choices moving forward.
For example, I grew up going to a private school where corporal punishment was practiced. It seemed to me that children were randomly paddled for seemingly-insignificant actions. I couldn’t discern the rhyme or reason to what led to the punishment … I only knew that kids that were vocal or active got punished more than ones who were quiet.
Several beliefs got formed in those early years for me.
#1 Random people are dangerous. Don’t engage with them.
#2 Lay low, keep your opinions to yourself, and you won’t get hurt.
Those rules governed a lot of my choices going forward and affected the relationships I formed. It led to a “peace at any price” philosophy that did not serve me. In the end, I rewarded with my silence actions that did not serve me or others.
Today, in my work, I listen closely to my clients for clues… analyzing why they do what they do. I’m looking for those source events and decision points where people make rules or beliefs about how the world works. Energetically those source points and false beliefs can be released. Once the energy around those points is removed, the person is free to make healthy changes and create a better life.
Nothing thrills me more than helping someone see the pattern they’ve created and release it. Knowing they can move forward unfettered by the past is downright thrilling.
Everything in life is about relationships. What type of relationship do you have with money? If money were a person, how would s/he be treating you? What kind of characteristics would it have? For those struggling with money, this might be how they’d describe their “Money Person”:
Likes to make me wait
Goes where it wants and not where I want it to.
Likes to make me suffer
Is stopped up
Doesn’t value me
Doesn’t believe in me
Lets me down
What other adjectives would you use to describe money as a person? If you have more negative ones, write those down.
Now that we have a negative list of money and his attributes, let’s flip those around to what we’d LIKE our money person to be like and how we’d like our money person to treat us.
Timely and arrives early
Goes where I want it to go.
Likes to make me feel good and see me happy
Consistently connected fully to me
Believes in me
Supports me and Is always there for me.
From this point forward when you’re prone to talk or think negatively about money, stop yourself and think about this new “money person” you’ve created who is generous, reliable, consistent, timely, etc.
How will you think, feel and treat a person who treated you in this new, more desirable way? Might you give it more respect, more value, more trust, more positive expectations?
Change your thinking, change your life!
A friend recommended I watch the movie, The Shawshank Redemption. “It’s all about freedom,” she said.
That was enough to pique my interest. So I DVR’d a television-cut version and watched it last week.
In the movie a successful banker, Andy Dufresne, is sentenced to two back-to-back life sentences for presumably murdering his wife and her lover. From the start, we don’t know whether Andy really did it or not, but he winds up in Shawshank Prison alongside Morgan Freeman’s character, “Red,” who has already been there for nearly twenty years. Red and Andy eventually become friends.
I hesitate to give away too much of the story, because it’s a movie you’d really want to watch yourself, but suffice it to say there are four types of inmates in Shawshank Prison:
- The predators who terrorize others.
- The new inmate who is terrorized by the predators.
- Those who hold out hope and try to make the best of their situation.
- Those who have lost all hope and have now become “institutionalized.” They wouldn’t know what to do with freedom if they had it. In fact, the thought of it is a fate worse than death.
In the movie, Andy starts out as the new inmate, terrorized by predators, but something inside him can never be broken. Through the power of hope, Andy breaks free of the “prison within the prison,” shakes off the predators, and makes the best of a terrible situation. He finds ways to serve and help his fellow inmates.
At one point, Red warns Andy, “Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” But, Andy refuses to give up hope. His hope leads to action – small, consistent daily actions which eventually lead to ultimate freedom.
Hope, like freedom is an interesting concept. Neither of them can be fully comprehended without experiencing their opposites.
Look up any definition of freedom, and you’ll notice it is often defined by referring to the absence of something else: the absence of restraints, slavery, detention, coercion, force, arbitrary exercise of authority, restrictions, control, oppression or interference.
Freedom and hope are like light. Only when one has stumbled around in the dark, does one truly appreciate a flashlight. Only when a person has been limited in some way, does he appreciate freedom. And only when someone has found himself in a seemingly hopeless situation, does he appreciate the ray of light that only hope can bring.
Some think that freedom can be taken to an extreme… that too much freedom is a bad thing. I do not agree. You might say, “Well, what if someone decides he has the freedom to kill, to steal, to maim, or to force? That’s freedom gone awry.”
Even if our society wasn’t set up to punish such actions, you really are not talking about freedom anymore, because now there is no longer the “absence of restraints, coercion, force, arbitrary exercise of authority, control, oppression or interference.” You’ve just imposed those on someone else.
Or you might say, “What if a person chooses unrestrained access (aka freedom) to play video games all day or consume excessive amounts of alcohol or drugs… that is freedom gone awry.” I say that is no longer freedom because now the person is addicted (in bondage) to video games, alcohol and drugs.” Freedom is no longer present because its opposites are.
Thus, we learn three important principles about freedom:
- Freedom is a two-way street. Freedom for me means freedom for you and vice versa. The moment I seek to impose my will upon you, freedom has fled.
- Freedom requires personal responsibility and self-control. Excess is not freedom because excess becomes addiction and addiction is bondage.
- Freedom feeds on hope. The moment hope is lost, people stop doing the little things to move forward and foster freedom. Without daily consistent actions, driven by hope, freedom is impossible. Slavery is inevitable.
All the other inmates in Shawshank Prison gave into hopelessness and wasted their time. Andy, on the other hand, used his time to improve the environment in which he lived and take daily actions toward a freedom that only he envisioned.
For those of us who value freedom, remember hope. As Andy tells Red at the end of the movie,
Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Are you like I was two years ago? Stuck in a rut? Burnt out on your life or your business? Restless about the way things are, but not sure how to make them better? The turning point came for me when I dared to dream of the ideal life. I had no idea how it would be possible, but I knew two important things:
1) If it was to be, it was up to me – and nobody else.
2) Things were never going to change until I let go of being stuck in “what was” and had the courage to get clear on “what could be.”
From there, I crafted a plan. I didn’t have the whole picture. I didn’t know all the steps. All I knew was that in order to have the passionate, energetic life and relationships I envisioned, I needed to get healthy and drop 30-40 pounds. So my plan was to start taking vitamins and working out consistently.
Every time I went to the gym, I’d look at the people my age or even the 70-year-olds who were in great shape and think – “I can do that. I’m going to be like that.” I let the people around me inspire me.
Do you have role models in your life? People who have achieved what you want to achieve? If not, start finding them and surrounding yourself with them. Let them remind you of your goal … if they can do it, so can you!
If you’re ready to step into the life of your dreams, I hope you’ll join me for my upcoming workshop, “Create Your Own Amazing Life.”
I hope you’ll join me!
Are you tired of your life? Bored? Burn-out? In a rut? But when you think about what it would take to really feel the fire again, you decide it’s too impossible. Or maybe you even think it’s wrong to want more.
This was me two and a half years ago. While I was incredibly successful in my business, my personal life was a mess. I felt stuck and trapped. I didn’t think there was any way out of the relationship I was in. In fact, I was quite certain God would be mad at me for even thinking that I could change the situation.
Yet, one pivotal trip home from Seacrest Beach, Florida, I did something that set in motion a chain of actions and events that revolutionized my world. God began revealing to me that He indeed WANTED me to be happy! That He was excited for me to find joy in my life and have the type of relationship I envisioned.
Yet, He couldn’t free me from my existing trap until I got SUPER CLEAR and DECIDED what I wanted instead. I couldn’t just moan or suffer in silence. I had to get clear on what I wanted instead. And once I did… EVERYTHING started changing.
I’ve been thinking about great heroes down through history who have taught or fought valiantly for liberty … the Light Bearers of the past. Today as I was thinking of Joan of Arc, I asked myself, “What would she say if she were here with us today?”
The answer came in a poem…
The vision holds.
An army with colors fair and banners bright,
Leads you forward to morning’s light.
Liberty’s spirit shall never die
While earth shall stand
Or sun shall shine.
Flicker and falter it might,
But angels from on high feed the flame
When mortal man caves in fright.
Speak truth, not guile.
And the sword of honor
Shall remain with you all the while.
Stand brave, stand true,
Know that you are not alone.
Angels rally ’round to see you through.
Inspired by Joan of Arc
2013 can be called the year of change.
Does it seem like the life you once knew has been burned to the ground and you’re left with what appears to be nothing? You’ve been on a roller coaster of change, a ride you didn’t sign up for, and one you can’t seem to get off? Or maybe you were the one who initiated a change – and buckled up for a bumpy ride – but it is turning out to be more challenging than you ever anticipated.
It’s all on purpose!
No matter who you are or where you live, we all seem to be experiencing massive changes that are waking us up – often shaking us at our most sensitive points – causing us to go through very difficult and painful transitions.
Everyone around the world is experiencing this, some in bigger ways than others. You may wonder what is going on? Why is this happening? Why can’t I seem to get out of this?!? You’re doing everything you can to keep moving forward but it’s taking everything to take just one step. You’re tired, earnestly searching for answers to make sense of it all and need support. It’s not just you. For many, the area you’re being affected in is the longstanding issue that has been holding you back – one you haven’t been willing or didn’t know how to address. It is also your greatest source for breakthrough.
Health. Family. Finances. Career. Spiritual. Self.
We are all being challenged to step up to our truest selves and then to be a light for others around us. That’s what the transition you’re going through today is all about. As long as we’re stuck not valuing ourselves, not trusting our inspiration, comparing ourselves with one another, worrying about what society will think of us, or paralyzed by fear, how will we fulfill our missions here?
Your pain and transitioning is absolutely necessary. Our hearts must be united with God and each other. We must have the courage to lift up our voices no matter what anyone else thinks. A clear connection with the divine is critical. We’ll need to know how to unfailingly trust our inspiration, and act and speak when prompted to do so.
As Anastasia Montejano told me the other day, “Our pain is on purpose.” It is the caterpillar morphing into the cocoon and emerging as the butterfly. Laura West was telling me the other day that the caterpillar actually MELTS inside the cocoon. It’s not just all warm and cozy in there.
Anastasia and I are putting together a series of Google Hangout discussions on the 2nd and 4th Fridays of each month (Starting August 23rd). We’ve both been through incredibly similar experiences and have learned parallel lessons along the way. We’ll be talking about our journeys, and the things we’ve learned to more gracefully navigate this transitional phase – so you have the courage and grace to walk your journey.
I hope you’ll join us for this Google Hangout on August 23rd at 2pm ET / 1pm CT / noon MT / 11am PT. It will air on my youtube channel.
As you may know, I blew up my 6 figure business in the fall of 2012 and started over. Yes, it was a leap of faith, but I knew I needed to more fully follow my passion to assist Light Bearers. What you may not know is I didn’t have a clear idea of what my new path would look like. I had an end goal, a picture in my mind of who I wanted to be, what I wanted to be doing, and the type of relationships that would be in my life as I did them. But HOW I was going to get there wasn’t clear.
With faith in my vision, I took the leap. Since that time I’ve taken a second bigger leap that only few know about. It’s a personal decision that has completely reset my life. So within a 9 month period, I’ve wiped the slate clean on my life and business.
Scary? Yes, at times, downright terrifying. As I’m emerging through the other side, it’s the most liberating thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s an exciting bold adventure. I’d like to share with you one of the many important lessons I’ve learned along the way. But first let me tell you a little story…In 1985 I took a tour of the most unusual house I’ve ever seen, the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California. Legend has it that a medium told Sarah Winchester to build a house, “If you continue building, you will live forever. But if you stop, then you will die.”
The house is bizarre. There are twists, turns, dead ends, and stairwells going nowhere. Without rhyme or reason, Sarah kept building.
I hadn’t thought about the house in years, but in the last week, it keeps coming to mind. I’ve realized that I’ve built my life and business a lot like Sarah Winchester built her house – ever creating as if my life depended on it, but without any real plan, purpose or clear objective. Just creating, creating, creating and seeking as much inspiration as I could along the way. Through the grace of God, what I built was prosperous and offered a good service to others. Still, there were blind alleys, stairwells that went nowhere, rooms that served no purpose and weren’t part of any cohesive blueprint.
As I’ve “blown up” my life and business, it’s created some chaos. Yet, as the dust has settled, I see an empty lot on which to build my new life. I’m able to decide with intention what I CHOOSE to put into it. I’m realizing the importance of having a clear plan and blueprint and then crafting daily activities that support that blueprint.
It’s also important to omit things that do not support the plan. This requires some tough love, setting boundaries, and a vision of the end ever in mind. In fact, I’m going to be participating in Laura West’s next 30-Day Passion Project to create a visual blueprint of the life and business I’ll be creating from this point forward. I’m super excited about this Joyful Life BluePrint Project! Maybe you’d care to join me? For details, go here.
Lesson learned: Chaos is part of the natural cycle of things. Nothing in this world stays orderly. You have to create some chaos to increase order. Think of the mess when you set out to organize a closet. It’s why forest fires happen, so all the chaos can be cleared away and a fresh forest can emerge. Embrace the chaos in your life and thank the heavens for the “reset points” that let you start fresh with clearer intentions for conscious creation of your own joyful life.
Remember, the Phoenix always rises from the ashes! Freedom has a price and that price usually requires facing your deepest fears. Embrace the fear, feel the fire and soar!
For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.” – 1 Corinthians 15:22
What’s your definition of Freedom? For me, freedom means:
The ability to express my brilliance in the world – to have the space, opportunity and time to perfect it, package it, and deliver it to the world in a way that they want to receive it and are happy to compensate me for it. Freedom means the people who need what I have and see the value in it may exchange something of equal value for what I give them.
Freedom means this transaction isn’t forced, coerced or manipulated in any way. Both parties come to the exchange and make it of their own free will and choice. No one else is micromanaging or skimming off the top of this transaction – unless the parties agree to pay someone for facilitating the transaction.
Freedom means I have the ability to appropriate my time, talents, money and resources to assist those individuals and causes I feel led to assist. No one twists my arm or forces me to be charitable. I have the freedom to choose to be charitable… or not. Along with that freedom comes consequences. If I sow good seeds, I reap a good harvest. If I refuse to sow, I will not reap.
Freedom means I recognize that natural laws are at work in my life and in the lives of those around me. Causes have effects; choices have consequences. Within every challenge lies an equal and opposite opportunity. It is up to me to locate and receive that opportunity. No one else is obliged to set things right for me. By living in harmony with universal laws (and given meddlesome individuals or institutions do not interfere with natural consequences) I may attain increasing levels of freedom and prosperity. I understand that if I violate those natural laws, my freedom will diminish and my access to abundance will be blocked.
Freedom means I am responsible for and capable of creating my own life, expressing my highest/best self, building my own destiny and finding the silver linings in my own rain clouds. It also means that I am able to keep, appropriate and invest the fruit of my own labors.
What is your definition of freedom? What does it mean to you?
I often ask my clients to pretend for a moment that they only have a day to live and someone has handed them a megaphone to share any message with the world. What would that message be?
You are the creator of your own life and if you choose to co-create with God anything is possible.
You may feel trapped and afraid when you think of what your heart truly desires, but you are still free to choose and create your life. Many times we give away our creative power to other people or things. To the extent we do that, we are living in bondage.
The Savior came to set you free. Come to Him with every fear, worry or thing that stands in your way. Give it to Him and watch what He can make of it. Watch Him transform anything and everything for your good … until anything that ensnares or diminishes you is gone, and you are free to BE the resplendent being of light He created you to BE.
Life is less about what you do and more about who you have become.
Ok, now it’s your turn… what would your message be?