I’ve been reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged: (Centennial Edition). Evidently Rand journaled extensively the characters, plot and messages she wanted to convey before she ever began writing a novel. At the beginning of this edition, they included several excerpts from Rand’s journal.

One passage stood out to me. At first I was taken aback.

It is proper for a creator to have an unlimited confidence in himself and his ability, to feel certain that he can get anything he wishes out of life, that he can accomplish anything he decides to accomplish, and that it’s up to him to do it. But here is what he must keep clearly in mind: it is true that a creator can accomplish anything he wishes — if he functions according to the nature of man, the universe and his own proper morality, that is, if he does not place his wish primarily within others and does not attempt or desire anything that is of a collective nature, anything that concerns others primarily or requires primarily the exercise of the will of others. (This would be an immoral desire or attempt, contrary to his nature as a creator.) If he attempts that, he is out of a creator’s province and in that of the collectivist and the second-hander.”

“Therefore he must never feel confident that he can do anything whatever to, by or through others. (He can’t — and he shouldn’t even wish to try it — and the mere attempt is improper.)”

What? But what about the power of synergy? Synergy may be one of the most central themes of my life, and thus I initially recoiled at her theory. Yet, as I continued reading, I began to better understand her reasoning and found myself agreeing:

He must not think that he can … somehow transfer his energy and his intelligence to them and make them fit for his purposes in that way. He must face other men as they are, recognizing them as essentially independent entities, by nature, and beyond his primary influence; he must deal with them only on his own, independent terms, deal with such as he judges can fit his purpose or live up to his standards (by themselves and of their own will, independently of him) and expect nothing from others…”

I’ve known many a creative (including myself) who were married to people of the opposite personality type who were not the least bit interested in their ideas and could not fully grasp the logic behind their dreams. In fact a friend wrote me within 12 hours after I read this passage to say that she’d finally given up on getting her husband to come around to “supporting her” in her mission. She felt she’d put her own dreams on hold waiting for him to catch up for far too long.

Her husband does love her and support her monetarily, but he’s not ecstatic about her ideas and doesn’t really “get” where she’s coming from. He doesn’t oppose her, but he’s not interested either. I think it’s important to look at our definitions of support. Does someone have to “get you” to be a support to you?

My own husband has only read one of my 21 books and that was a historical fiction novel. He doesn’t get excited about my ideas. He doesn’t get the core of what drives my passions. For a long time, I found this very frustrating. How could he even know me (or truly love me) if he doesn’t get excited about my core passion in life?

But then, I began to understand what Ayn Rand describes in that last paragraph — if we wish to be free to be ourselves, we must respect other people’s freedom to be themselves.

If I waited for my husband to get excited about my projects, read all my books, or advocate for my cause, I’d never do anything. You are responsible for your own life and your own message. Other people are responsible for theirs.

You can be with a spouse who doesn’t get excited about what excites you. I came to understand that the limitation was only in my mind. You are free to be you. You don’t need a specific person to get you. God will bring people to you (and is bringing people to you) who do get you. When I let go of expecting my husband to be who I wanted him to be, I was able to see how he DOES support me in a myriad of ways. One being, never complaining about me spreading my wings and doing my own thing.

Bottom line, I’m learning that if I want the freedom to be me, then I must allow others the freedom to be themselves … even if (in my view) they use their freedom to choose bondage.

In business, quality relationships are gold, and social media can be a wonderful way to build them. On the other hand, it’s a great way to destroy relationships and ruin your reputation as a professional. There’s something about typing or texting that makes people lower their inhibitions and say things they never would say to someone’s face.

You might be using social media inappropriately if you fall into one of these three categories.

An Agenda Pusher

Would you walk up to a total stranger and say, “Let’s be friends. Oh and by the way, you really need to sign up for my multi-level-marketing group.”

You might be an Agenda Pusher if…

- You round up friends on Facebook so you can immediately post your product or service on their wall.

- You follow your competitors on Facebook and graze through all their friends, adding them to your list.

- You round up people to promote your products or services but never “have time” to promote them in return.

- You post your events on other people’s event pages.

- You push your multi-level marketing product several times a day.

Over-Automated

I’m all for using automation to stream your blog updates and articles onto Twitter or Facebook, but too much of that without any personality mixed in just bores people.

You might be over-automated if…

- Your Twitter and Facebook accounts are just a string of RSS feeds and quotes. You never take the time to post anything yourself or bring your personality into the mix.

- You don’t write your own articles. You buy private label rights (PLR) and spin them into a dozen variations.

- You rarely, if ever, log into your Facebook account. You don’t reply to comments or join in conversations on other people’s walls.

- You never post anything personal.

TMI (Too Much Information)

While the over-automated social media user never interjects anything personal, the TMI user shares too much personal information.

“If you don’t want your mom to know about it, then it’s not appropriate for Facebook,” says Luanna Rodham of Marketing Virtual Assistance.

You might be giving too much information if …

- You post about your bodily functions on Facebook or Twitter.

- You post about the argument you just had with your spouse.

- You air your grievances about your employer or family members.

- You post immodest photos of yourself.

- Being negative and griping most of the time.

 

Can you think of anything you’d add to this list? Would love to hear your suggestions!

One of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is this one:

If you knew you would die tomorrow and someone gave you a megaphone today to deliver any message to the entire world, what message would you deliver?

The answer that comes first to your mind is often the most important thing to you. If you start delivering that message in everything you do — the way you live your life, the way you do your work, and the words you convey, amazing things start to happen.

Dolly Parton once said, “Discover who you are and do it on purpose.” There’s a lot of wisdom in that.

Here’s a fun video of some of the participants at our Radiant Success Event in Raleigh sharing what they’d like to tell the world:

What message would you deliver if given the chance?

As a "Peacemaker" on the Enneagram Personality scale, I've lived most of my life by the unspoken mantra, "peace at any price." If I thought expressing my feelings would make someone upset or rock the boat, I kept them to myself. If I thought what I had to say could be construed as nagging or argumentative, I said nothing. You know that old saying, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." That was me. I'm not saying I never said anything bad, never blew my stack or got angry. On the contrary, I'm the master at bottling up my emotions so long they erupt like Mt. Vesuvius. Besides blowing up in odd moments when the last straw is added to the camel's back, there are other problems associated with the peace at any price operating system... Read the rest of this entry »