Collaboration

Create Your Own Inner Circle of Supportive Relationships

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From the time I started my business 23 years ago, I have been richly blessed with a collection of beautiful, talented and good-hearted people: customers who turn into friends, colleagues who transformed into confidants. 

Connected, supportive relationships form the foundation of an amazing life.

Sometimes people tell me they’ve been badly burned in relationships, had their hearts broken, and struggle to know who to trust. I can honestly say that I could count on one hand the relationships in my life that have gone sour. In fact, it wouldn’t even take all the fingers on that hand.

Those troubled connections were formed before I learned important lessons about relationships. 

The Relationship Model

Napoleon Hill Relationship Model Napoleon Hill talked about how we have levels of relationships extending like concentric circles around us.  A good understanding of this model helps you keep relationships healthy. Here’s how it works. 

Acquaintances: The people in the outer circle are acquaintances. You’re nice to them, but you don’t open up as much of your heart with them. They don’t get as much of your time or energy.

Colleagues & Customers: The next closest circle is people who have earned their way into a closer relationship with you. They get a little bit more of your energy and time.

Friends: Your friends and associates are next. They get a bit more of your heart, energy and time.

Close Friends: In the next circle, you have those who are your closest friends, loved ones and confidants.  You share the most with these people and they have more of your heart, time and energy.

You and God: Finally the innermost circle is just you and God. Nobody else goes inside that circle. There are things that you don’t share with anyone but God. You keep this space sacred.

The biggest place I see people mess up is giving outer circle people, inner circle privileges. In other words, we’re giving people greater access to our hearts, time and energy than they have yet earned.

But how do you decide who to let into your inner circle? First of all, they earn their way in in some way. But even then, the fact is two perfectly good people can make a mess when they’re together.

The biggest lesson I learned was to delineate the people I click with versus those I’m probably going to clash with. By identifying the difference early, I can keep the potential clash relationships in my outer circle. Through time and trust-building, I bring the people I resonate with into my inner circle.

Trust any warning bells that go off in your mind. If something tells you a relationship feels off, there is a problem.  Either address it and work it through, or take the signal as a clue not to pursue that relationship at a deeper level. Keep the individual in an outer circle, be nice to them, but give them less of your time, heart and energy.

By learning to identify the people with whom you resonate and building relationships of trust with them, you can forge a strong circle of close confidants who support you through any challenge.

Jane Austen described so well the way I feel about my inner circle of friends:

There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” (Northanger Abbey).

I’m so grateful for the amazing people God continually sends my way… especially those who have impacted me so significantly that my life pivots around their entrance into my life. Whether we still stay in contact a lot, a little, or rarely, I love them still and always will.

I’ll be talking more about how to build your circle of supportive relationships in my next “How to Create Your Own Amazing Life” Workshop. Sign up by the end of today (Valentine’s Day) and you’ll also get 4 of my Southern romance novels just for fun! Click here for details.

 

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

How to Attract Ideal, Connected and Supportive Relationships

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I’ve been advising entrepreneurs to be themselves for years. It’s a fantastic marketing strategy. Most likely there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people doing the same work that you do in the world. What makes you stand out is YOU! The more YOU that you can be. the better.

This isn’t only true of attracting and forging strong customer bonds. It’s also a true principle for fostering other types of relationships whether they are in our families, in friendships or in romantic relationships. Being fully and authentically you takes less energy and insures that you’re bringing the people into your life who are best for you.

Now that I’ve said that, I’d like to clarify one thing. Being YOU does not mean you have no need for self-improvement. It doesn’t mean that you can keep all your bad habits, annoying behaviors, dishonesty or lazy tendencies and attract good things into your life.

As James Allen said, we do not attract what we want. We attract what we are. If you want to improve your relationships, improve you. You might say, “Well, Marnie, you’re telling me to be someone I’m not. This is just the way I am.” I don’t believe that’s true. I believe that at the core, each of us are divine beings of light with unique talents, strengths, and potential.

Anything that is less-than-ideal (say a bad habit), is simply a black blob on your glowing ball of light. It’s a foreign object. Remove it, and you’ll glow all the brighter. The brighter you shine, the more high quality, supportive and radiant relationships you’ll attract.

Remember, the real you is a glowing ball of light. So I’d like to modify my initial advice to “The more you can be your highest and best self, the better.”

The thing is, we all have black blobs, and we always will. Removing them has been a quest of a lifetime for me. In fact, when something presses my hot button (let’s say someone says or does something and my reaction is instant anger, irritation, or depression), the first thing I realize is that I’ve just run into a black blob on my glowing ball of light. This is a chance to self-reflect and ask myself,

What is this about? Why am I reacting this way? What in me is less than light?”

Once I identify the root cause, I can remove it. From that point forward, my reactions to similar stimuli change.

3 Tools for Identifying and Removing Black Blobs on Your Glowing Ball of Light

I use three primary tools to help me identify black blobs and remove them.

I ask myself questions. After some self-reflection time, the answers will often surface. It helps to review your life for other times you had a similar reaction. The pattern you observe can help you identify the cause. Acknowledging the root cause and why you’re reacting in that fashion, can create a shift and release the negative energy. I specifically ask God to take it away, and He does!

Becoming certified in Carolyn Cooper’s SimplyHealed MethodTM has been priceless in helping me quickly identify and energetically remove the root of black blobs in myself and others. It’s fast, painless, and simply. The great thing is it doesn’t require digging back through the trash heap and stirring up old memories or inflaming old wounds.

Get a second set of eyes on the subject. I either enlist the help of a friend or fellow energy worker. For example, I have a good friend whom I trust implicitly. She’s been my honest, compassionate sounding board who is willing to help me identify my black blobs. In fact, the other day we spent a couple hours on the phone, each of us sharing our concerns and helping each other identify false beliefs or old patterns, remove them, and craft positive replacements.

Everyone Needs a FriendAt the end of the call, I said, “We’re like two monkeys picking the fleas off of one another.” She cracked up and admitted it was true. Everybody needs a friend they can trust enough to pick the fleas off. I hope you have one!

Please remember, you are a glowing ball of light and love. That is who God created you to be. Any action, reaction or habit that is less than that is simply an indicator of a black blob. Identify and remove the black blob and you’ll shine all the brighter. The brighter you shine (the more YOU you are) the more beautiful, loving, kind and supportive relationships you’ll draw into your life.

If you’re ready to forge an amazing life filled with these types of rejuvenating relationships, please join me for my next How to Create Your Own Amazing Life Workshop. I’ll specifically be teaching you how to attract connected, loving relationships that support and encourage your dreams.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Mark Your Calendar for December 3, 4 and 5th!

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I love a good sale. But a great sale (one where you get such an incredible deal that you just have to phone someone up to tell them about it) I adore! They’re rare but when you find a great sale, you know you’re going to make yourself a very happy customer.

I believe the best Cyber Monday sale you’re going to find isn’t a new tech gadget that will be out of date by the end of the year. No, it’s something that will last much longer, and actually put money in your bank account this year — and that’s why I’m participating in it.

On Cyber Monday I’ll be a part of 3 Day Bundle – one of those rare great sales you’ll be high-fiving yourself for buying. 3 Day bundle is a deeply discounted educational bundle of online trainings, tailored for the Entrepreneur. Imagine getting 10 online courses from the biggest names in the entrepreneur world for only $148! Yes, you read that correctly! If I spend that much on a single course, I’m stoked! But to get 10? Well, that’s just a great sale.

3 Day Bundle

This sale focuses on Building a Better Business in 2014. Whether you want to dramatically increase your sales skills, create a killer marketing plan or build a Facebook Ad campaign that actually works, or many other important skill sets needed to run a profitable business, this bundle has got you covered. Each course will add new revenue streams (or improve) to your business, and give you different ways to connect with your customers.

Here’s a list of what’s in the bundle and who is involved:

 

 

  • Cracking the Code: Build a Facebook Revenue Machine by Adam Spiel ($497)
  • Get the YES! The Essential No-Stress Guide to Turning Prospects into Paying Clients by Carolyn Herfurth ($197)
  • Marketing Mastery by Michelle McCullough ($97)
  • Create a Wow Book Audio Program by Marnie Pehrson ($197)
  • The Soul Vision Marketing System by Angela Johnson ($297)
  • Releasing the Brakes by Sean Smith ($376)
  • Making Love & Money Work: Relationship course for Entrepreneurs by Dino and Shannon Watt ($197)
  • The Business Blueprint by Brandon Allen ($97)Get Yours at 3 Day Bundle

 

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Quantum Collaboration at Its Finest: Sweet Lorraine

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I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face for three reasons:

1) this is such a touching story

2) This is the embodiment of EXACTLY what I mean by Quantum Collaboration and

3) This is what I want to do for Light Bearers. I want to come alongside them and help them make their dreams come true, help them express those deepest messages of their hearts and get them out there blessing others.

I hope it blesses you as much as it has me.

 

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Why Settle For Money When You Can Have Infinitely More?

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I believe there is an unseen network connecting Light Bearers. Through this network your desires and intentions are communicated. The clearer you are about what you need or desire, the more serendipitous circumstances will align to bring you the exact resources, knowledge and skills you need to accomplish your objectives.

I’ll give you an example, I’ve been going through a major personal transition, and there is a song that has been with me the whole time … helping me retain the vision of where I’m going and what my new life can be. On the exact day I made the transition to my new life, a pianist friend posted a song to his Facebook wall. It was a gorgeous instrumental arrangement he’d performed of my “theme song.” I’m sure he had no clue why he felt he should post it for free that day.

I grabbed it and immediately fell in love with it. By the next afternoon, it was no longer available. It was as if “something” told him to post that song just for me on my pivotal day.

I’ve loaded this song and some others to a “soundtrack” I use as I’m creating my Joyful Life BluePrint Journal this month. To me, this cannot be coincidence. It’s a little tender mercy from God. My pianist friend is so adeptly attuned to this communication network that he heard and acted upon inspiration that sent a priceless message to me that

a) I am known,

b) I am loved,

c) My dreams are what God wants for me.

This vast invisible communication network frequently brings me synergistic friendships. This is when a person has the skills or knowledge I need and I have what they need. In these instances when there’s a feeling of like-minded kinship, I would much rather engage in Quantum Collaboration than a monetary exchange.

Some experts advise against barter, but I don’t really consider this barter. Quantum Collaboration isn’t retail for retail. It’s not keeping score. It happens when two people care for and value one another and want to see each other succeed. It happens when there is a synergy and a symbiotic relationship.

Recently, a lady wanted to hire me to do some book launch consulting with her. After interacting with her for a few weeks, I realized there was potential for Quantum Collaboration. She is an ideal mentor for me on a specific business goal I have, plus she has an audience I want to reach with my message.

I found myself suggesting that we forego the monetary exchange and use our gifts to help each other achieve our goals. This isn’t something I’d normally do with a book launch because they are so much work, but in this case it made sense. This morning as I was thinking about this, a part of me thought perhaps I was letting my heart rule my head. After all, cash is always a nice thing. Why did my gut tell me to forget the money and go for the Quantum Collaboration?

fishingThe answer came in this proverb: “Feed a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

When I engage in a monetary transaction, all I get is money. I get a fish for the day. But when heaven sends me a mentor who can guide me in the exact direction I need to go next and I’m qualified to mentor them in the area they need to go next, I’d be downright crazy to settle for money. A quantum collaboration is such a richer exchange. I’ll come away with increased connections, new relationships, a deeper friendship, leverage to a wider audience and the exact mentoring I need to increase my revenues and “feed” my family for years to come.

Why settle for a few thousand dollars now, when the exchange holds within it tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, or even millions?

Find out how to leverage Quantum Collaboration in your own business

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

How to Find Lucrative Collaborative Partnerships

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One of the best ways to build your business is through joint ventures, cross-promotion and collaboration. While you’re greatly benefiting from this type of leverage and exposure, there still is time and money involved. If your staff or virtual assistants are coordinating your joint ventures, sending out emails, tweeting, Facebooking, etc, there are real financial expenses associated with collaborations. If you’re doing it all yourself, you know firsthand how much time and energy is involved to do the job right.

puzzleIt can be very frustrating when you go to a lot of effort on a joint venture and sales are low or non-existent. It can be especially dumbfounding when it seems like the product/service you’re promoting is an ideal fit for the audiences’ needs. Why does this happen? Assuming the product and presentation are quality, there’s a good chance that the problem lies more with personality.

Now more than ever, audiences are segmented not only by niche or need, but also by personality type. Birds of a feather flock together. Entrepreneurs who have injected their own personalities into their marketing, tend to gather clients and prospects who think and act like them! But what if you and your audience think and act differently than your joint venture partners?

In this short video I’m demonstrating a free tool that offers a solution to this joint venturing challenge. It will help you locate joint venture partners whose audiences are an ideal fit for you.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Stop Wasting Time On Joint Ventures that Don’t Work

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There’s a tool that has become such an integral part of my life that I find myself using it every single day. It helps me

- diffuse arguments between my kids (Benefit: More peace in my home & happier kids)

- build rapport with a potential client within seconds (Benefit: More sales and happy customers)

- attract people who strongly connect with me and my message, (Benefit: more loyal fans/followers)

- find lucrative collaborative partners (Benefit: less time wasted on jv’s that don’t work and more revenue from those that do)

Have you ever felt like your target audience can’t hear you because of all the other “voices” clamoring for their attention? Or have you ever spent hours promoting a webinar for a joint venture partner only to produce pitiful sales? There is a way to cut through the noise AND get significantly better results from your joint ventures.

brainmapIt’s a Core-Connecting tool developed by my friend, the brain patterning specialist, Lisa Rae Preston.

This is so powerful, I’m weaving it into my new collaboration database at IgnitePoint.com so you can search for potential collaborative partners based on their Core-Connecting Type. Knowing this could save you dozens of hours poured into each joint venture that won’t ever pan out because the person you’re partnering with doesn’t speak to your audience’s core. Or it could earn you thousands of dollars every time they do.

Find out more in an upcoming Webinar that Lisa Rae and I are holding Thursday, June 20th. In this f.r.e.e webinar, you’ll learn how to Read the Mind of Your Market (and your Joint Venture partners)!

To register for your spot in the live webinar and receive the replay click here.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Get Inspired and Collaborate Your Way to Success

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I’m excited to say I’m rolling out Phase 2 of IgnitePoint. Each weekday our home page changes and highlights new people and ideas that will inspire you. For example, here’s what we’ve brought you so far this week:

The One Thing that Can Never Be Taken From You … Insights from Marnie Pehrson

Improving Communication with Your Spouse and Children … Insights from Kirk and Kim Duncan

Let Go and Trust … Insights from Carolyn Cooper

If you would like to receive email updates each weekday so you don’t miss a single piece of inspiration, you may subscribe at IgnitePoint.com

Another cool tool we’ve added is our Collaborative Database designed to help you find joint venture partners, networking buddies, etc. At the top of each page of the site, you may perform a search for speakers, guest bloggers, radio guests or people who are looking for guest bloggers or interview guests. You can even sort people by personality type based on the STEP Core Passion Test results.

I’ll be offering more educational resources to show you how to make the most of the database as we go.

If you’re interested in being listed in our collaborative database, you may find details here.

If you have any questions, please let me know. I hope you enjoy the site!

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

My Daddy the Bird Whisperer

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I’ve always known that my dad had a way with people, but it seems he also has a way with birds. He sent me these photos today of a bird he coaxed into coming to him, letting him pick it up and become its friend.

taming a cat bird

taming a cat birdHe found this catbird on his car port and started talking to it. It walked toward him and let him pick it up. It squirmed a bit at first, but then it finally relaxed as he held it in his hands. For perhaps thirty minutes he talked to it in soothing tones until he finally opened his hand. Rather than fly away, it climbed up on his back.

I remember when I was young he found another cat bird in the house that had come in through the chimney. He caught it and held onto it a while. When he took it outside, it didn’t want to leave him. Finally it flew into a tree and kept talking to him for some time.

The trick, he says, is to hold onto the bird, restrain it just enough to keep it from getting away, but use no more force than you have to. It’s about building trust and letting it know you mean it no harm. It’s still a mystery to me that he can talk to it and make it come to him and let him pick it up.

I think there’s a lesson here about building trust with not only birds, but also with people. In my father’s career as a dentist this ability to engender trust and set people at ease came in very handy. In the last years before he retired, he only accepted patients by referral. People came from states away to be cared for by this gentle man with a way of calming others.

My dad said he first learned to work with birds as a boy when he hypnotized chickens to stand on their heads with their feet in the air. This is the first I’d heard of this so he suggested I Google it. Sure enough, here’s a video someone posted on how to hypnotize chickens. The final method in the video is the one my dad used as a child…

Anyway, such fun! I’m completely fascinated. How about you? :)

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.

Does the Idea of Collaborating Scare You?

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One of the most fascinating excuses I hear from people about why they don’t want to collaborate is that they don’t trust other people. They are afraid to go into collaborative arrangements for fear of being hurt. Often the people who tell me this are Potentials (in Lisa Rae Preston’s STEP Core Passion Assessment). Primary Potentials are highly creative visionaries who are wired to inspire. We comprise only about 10% of the population. Thus, we are different than the norm. We tend to be pioneers and march to the beat of our own drummers. Few people really “get us.” (You can take the STEP Core Passion Assessment for free here.)

“Fitting in,” isn’t likely to occur unless we happen to be surrounded by other Potentials. For example, the majority of the world is comprised of Services (the do-ers) and their brain patterning is the direct opposite of Potentials. Most Potentials spend their lives being told by the rest of humanity what they “should” or “should not” do. For example, they might hear, “You should buckle down, get a steady job and let go of your pipe dreams.” Nothing grates on a Potential’s nerves quite like being “should upon.”

This alienation and inevitable wedge sends us into our own little worlds. And we do have quite the imaginations! We can entertain ourselves there, but in this place there isn’t as much human interaction as we crave.

Another aspect of the Potential mind is that it is wired to spot patterns and see connections. Potentials who have a secondary brain patterning of Truth, tend to see patterns and connections in things and ideas. Potentials who have a secondary brain patterning of Empathy, tend to see patterns and connections with people.

Potential-Empathies, in particular, crave human interaction. We need people. We are born collaborators. So, if we’ve been alienated and wounded to isolate ourselves, we often end up depressed, lonely and afraid.

But for those who can push past their fears, and reach out to others, great rewards await. Simon Sinek talks about how Mother Nature has wired us to help one another. We actually release a feel-good hormone in our bodies (Oxytocin) when we spend time and energy helping another person. In order to survive as a species we must learn to help one another, and so it’s hard-coded into us to feel fulfilled when we do.

This could be another reason why Potentials who feel alienated and then withdraw, suffer from depression, anxiety or other disorders. Their fear of alienation prevents them from engaging in relationships fully, and thus they produce less Oxytocin (also referred to as the “love and bonding hormone”) which then results in fewer moments of happiness.

“Oxytocin is a hormone that helps relax and reduce blood pressure and cortisol levels. It increases pain thresholds, has anti anxiety effects, and stimulates various types of positive social interaction. In addition, it promotes growth and healing.” (Oxytocin hormone benefits and side effects by Ray Sahelian, M.D.

Here’s an illustration of the power of this naturally occurring drug.

My son Joshua was diagnosed with Crohn’s at 13. It’s an auto-immune, inflammatory bowel disease. Since getting married in December 2012, he has been doing much better. He says he’s healed. My family was joking around on Easter about how his wife, Elise, is healing him with her love.

Here’s something fascinating I found while investigating Oxytocin, which is released when people are in love or during social bonding of any kind. Look at this fascinating footnote from Wikipedia:

“Social behavior and wound healing: Oxytocin is also thought to modulate inflammation by decreasing certain cytokines. Thus, the increased release in oxytocin following positive social interactions has the potential to improve wound healing. A study by Marazziti and colleagues used heterosexual couples to address this possibility. They found increases in plasma oxytocin following a social interaction were correlated with faster wound healing. They hypothesized this was due to oxytocin reducing inflammation, thus allowing the wound to heal faster. This study provides preliminary evidence that positive social interactions may directly impact aspects of health.”

Elise IS healing Joshua! Or perhaps his love for her is healing him! :)

So here’s what I’m thinking for those who have been wounded so deeply they are afraid to collaborate… Perhaps you don’t trust everyone, but is there even one person you trust? Reach out and serve that person. Better yet, find someone to serve without any expectation of return. No need for trust then. Expend your time and energy to help that person in some way. Use your gifts and your imagination! This will make you feel better – literally releasing Oxytocin in your brain.

Do this enough, and you will begin to heal. Then you will start to attract more people you can trust into your life. And then you can serve them too, and they will serve you in return. Gradually, over time, you will collect your own tribe of people who believe what you believe and whom you can trust. THEN, you can start tapping into the power of collaboration – which is accessing infinite possibilities and resources.

About Marnie Pehrson

Are you a Light Bearer? Take the FREE Light Bearer Assessment. It's a quick and easy way to find out where you are in the Light Bearer Process... is a best-selling author, speaker, certified SimplyHealedTM practitioner, platform builder and publishing coach who shows you how to ignite the WOW-Factor in your life and business through the power of synergistic relationships and collaboration. To find out more about working with Marnie, click here.





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