I’ve been advising entrepreneurs to be themselves for years. It’s a fantastic marketing strategy. Most likely there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people doing the same work that you do in the world. What makes you stand out is YOU! The more YOU that you can be. the better.
This isn’t only true of attracting and forging strong customer bonds. It’s also a true principle for fostering other types of relationships whether they are in our families, in friendships or in romantic relationships. Being fully and authentically you takes less energy and insures that you’re bringing the people into your life who are best for you.
Now that I’ve said that, I’d like to clarify one thing. Being YOU does not mean you have no need for self-improvement. It doesn’t mean that you can keep all your bad habits, annoying behaviors, dishonesty or lazy tendencies and attract good things into your life.
As James Allen said, we do not attract what we want. We attract what we are. If you want to improve your relationships, improve you. You might say, “Well, Marnie, you’re telling me to be someone I’m not. This is just the way I am.” I don’t believe that’s true. I believe that at the core, each of us are divine beings of light with unique talents, strengths, and potential.
Anything that is less-than-ideal (say a bad habit), is simply a black blob on your glowing ball of light. It’s a foreign object. Remove it, and you’ll glow all the brighter. The brighter you shine, the more high quality, supportive and radiant relationships you’ll attract.
Remember, the real you is a glowing ball of light. So I’d like to modify my initial advice to “The more you can be your highest and best self, the better.”
The thing is, we all have black blobs, and we always will. Removing them has been a quest of a lifetime for me. In fact, when something presses my hot button (let’s say someone says or does something and my reaction is instant anger, irritation, or depression), the first thing I realize is that I’ve just run into a black blob on my glowing ball of light. This is a chance to self-reflect and ask myself,
What is this about? Why am I reacting this way? What in me is less than light?”
Once I identify the root cause, I can remove it. From that point forward, my reactions to similar stimuli change.
3 Tools for Identifying and Removing Black Blobs on Your Glowing Ball of Light
I use three primary tools to help me identify black blobs and remove them.
I ask myself questions. After some self-reflection time, the answers will often surface. It helps to review your life for other times you had a similar reaction. The pattern you observe can help you identify the cause. Acknowledging the root cause and why you’re reacting in that fashion, can create a shift and release the negative energy. I specifically ask God to take it away, and He does!
Becoming certified in Carolyn Cooper’s SimplyHealed MethodTM has been priceless in helping me quickly identify and energetically remove the root of black blobs in myself and others. It’s fast, painless, and simply. The great thing is it doesn’t require digging back through the trash heap and stirring up old memories or inflaming old wounds.
Get a second set of eyes on the subject. I either enlist the help of a friend or fellow energy worker. For example, I have a good friend whom I trust implicitly. She’s been my honest, compassionate sounding board who is willing to help me identify my black blobs. In fact, the other day we spent a couple hours on the phone, each of us sharing our concerns and helping each other identify false beliefs or old patterns, remove them, and craft positive replacements.
At the end of the call, I said, “We’re like two monkeys picking the fleas off of one another.” She cracked up and admitted it was true. Everybody needs a friend they can trust enough to pick the fleas off. I hope you have one!
Please remember, you are a glowing ball of light and love. That is who God created you to be. Any action, reaction or habit that is less than that is simply an indicator of a black blob. Identify and remove the black blob and you’ll shine all the brighter. The brighter you shine (the more YOU you are) the more beautiful, loving, kind and supportive relationships you’ll draw into your life.
If you’re ready to forge an amazing life filled with these types of rejuvenating relationships, please join me for my next How to Create Your Own Amazing Life Workshop. I’ll specifically be teaching you how to attract connected, loving relationships that support and encourage your dreams.
Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author, marketing and social media consultant and product creation specialist who shows you how to transform your knowledge and expertise into books & digital products and create an online platform. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.